(Excerpt from a book I am currently writing: "Dream. I Dare You." To be released beginning of 2020!!!!)
How many of you can honestly say life, at times, feels like an emotional rollercoaster that you just want off of??
Believe it or not, your emotions don't just happen.
You don't wake up feeling sad, angry, happy, peaceful or anything in between just because...
Your emotions come from somewhere and understanding this will help you #getyourlifeback
So if your emotions don't just show up at the scene, where do those emotions come from and how do you manage them??
I'm glad you asked.
EMOTIONS ARE CREATED THROUGH THOUGHTS.
The power with your thoughts is not simply found in just the thought itself, the problem comes with what happens next. As your brain creates automatic, conscious and unconscious thoughts, those thoughts than create emotions. Every thought creates an emotion. Your emotions don’t just show up.
According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it proves that our emotions don’t just show up on the scene. You don’t wake up insecure, fearful, angry, or even happy, peaceful, excited, and joyful. “That’s just the way I am” doesn’t apply. EVERY emotion, even the good ones – joy, love, peace – have been preceded by a thought. Every. Single. Time. Which means, instead of forcing a new emotion, like we oftentimes to, “feel joy, feel happy, feel peace”, and being mad because you don’t feel joy, happy or peace, trace back to what the heck you’re thinking about and that in itself will tell you why you’re not experiencing joy, happiness or peace. Something else is creating the fear and resentment and negative emotions. What is it??
10 out of 10 times you will find the thought.
“I am not good enough” and BOOM, anger sets in.
“No one supports me” and BOOM, depression sets in.
“I don’t know what I want” and BOOM, avoidance sets in.
“What will people think of me?” and BOOM, depression sets in.
The same is true on the other spectrum of thought processes:
“God’s got my back, life is good” and equally, BOOM, joy and peace set in.
“What I want, wants me” and BOOM, hope sets in.
“I may not know how, but I am going to figure it out” and courage sets in!
DO you see what I am saying?! Thoughts create emotions so if we can establish early on that we are the creators of our emotions because we are the creators of our thoughts, then we can change our emotions by changing our thoughts. So if you want to feel happy, joyful, powerful, then what thought do you have to think? How about: I am loved. I am fully supported. What I want, wants me. I am good, as is. WOW! What a powerful concept!!!!
This also proves that your dreams are not your emotions. Your heart is not your emotions. You can be emotionaland not be in your heart. I’ve heard from a ton of people who say “I’m a very emotional person.” I say this with as much grace and love as possible but living from heart has nothing to do with emotions!!! Nothing. And in fact, in order to live from your heart, you are going to have to check your emotions at the door.
For me, I admit, I was on the opposite end of spectrum as it pertained to emotions. Emotions felt dangerous to me. I didn’t like them, couldn’t “control” them, found them to be a sign of weakness and therefore lived much of my life without them. I did not want to be emotional. But as I grew in my understanding of all of this, I learned real quickly that emotions don’t necessarily mean your emotional and even if you are, there’s nothing wrong with that. Bottom line, emotions are just information. Emotions can also be understood as your triggers, which is really just information that is trying to compartmentalize how you feel in any given situation. You can feel angry, sad, or fearful without those feelings having anything to do with truth. You can feel whatever you need to feel but hear me when I say, your emotions and your heart are two very different things, just as your brain and your heart are two very different things. We need to honor all of it, but in doing so, we must understand the essence and the point behind each of them and why they do what they do.
The problem with emotions and our thoughts in our brain, left unchecked, is we give so much weight to them. We feel sad so we must be sad. We feel angry so we must be angry, justifying to ourselves that these emotions must be truth and therefore, we make decisions from this place. As Cognitive Behavioral Therapy goes on to say, every thought creates an emotion and every emotion leads to an action. The reason why we feel angry and then see ourselves as angry and then make angry decisions calling “angry a bad thing” is because we go through with the entirety of the equation and of course, anyone who is angry walking around making decisions is going to make an angry one, against themselves or others. Which is why this concept is so important to understand not just for a better quality of life but surely to support you in really living your dreams.
Thoughts > Emotions > Action > Results
You can trace this back even if you look at your own current results. If today you are avoiding conflict, you’re overweight, you’re settling in your relationship and/or career, you’re maybe thriving in a certain area or completely broke financially, it doesn’t matter what it is, those results are absolutely a by-product of emotions that are locked and loaded with a thought. Which means, your results today have been built in thought. If you didn’t believe it, it wouldn’t be. If you believed or carried a thought that said money was a blessing, you’d have more of it. If you believed or had a thought that said your body was the most important asset on the planet, you would take care of it. If you believed or had a thought that you are worthy and deserving, you would attract those types of people and relationships in your life. It doesn’t mean all of it was easy or perfect or that bad things, circumstances, and things outside of your control won’t approach you as well, but it will mean that you are unapologetic in your thought process, therefore your emotions wouldn’t be moved by circumstances because you’d know that circumstances change but what you think about yourself, God, this universe and opportunity would remain the same.
Pretty brilliant huh?!
Hear your thoughts. Be mindful of them and yes, if you are in harm’s way and you will actually die if you try, then of course, reconsider. Outside of being in literal harms way though, if thoughts are not serving you or giving you the emotions you want to feel, perhaps it’s time to give them up and to consider a thought process that would actually serve you.
Feel your emotions. You are allowed to feel whatever you need to feel but process those emotions. Sit quietly, identify where they come from and then reestablish what they ought to be so you can feel the way you WANT to feel. Believe it or not, you CAN control your emotions with a thought.